Hey Dad, Let's Talk 2| Starved for Affection |
 I vividly remember a time when I was young, perhaps eleven, when I was sitting with a group of boys and girls the same age, listening to a Sunday School teacher talk to us about some important spiritual lesson. Now I have no idea what that lesson was, I simply remember one split second of that night – a memory that has stayed with me ever since.
As the Sunday school teacher spoke to us, she walked in front of us, behind us, around us, etc. I was daydreaming. But suddenly she was only two feet away from me, and because she was in such a close proximity to me, I found myself tuning in for the moment, long enough to hear her say: “Sometimes all a person needs is to be touched by another human being.” She walked by me and reached down to squeeze my shoulder. My throat clogged and my eyes teared as an overwhelming, sense of longing flooded my being. I wanted to cry like a baby – I just wanted someone to hug me and hold me. In that moment, I felt ridiculously starved for affection. It was nothing sexual, it was just a basic human need to be touched. To be held. I have a one-year-old daughter now. I love to hold her and hug her and kiss her; touch her cheek or smooth back her hair. When she’s sixteen, I don’t want her to give up her virginity to some hormone-crazed boy who knows nothing of commitment, just because she’s starved for affection and thinks sex is the only way to feel loved by someone. The other day, she was teething and not feeling very well. She wanted extra hugs and cuddling. I found myself wondering, if a child is time and time again deprived of a simple hug from their mommy or daddy, will they stop asking for one? I think the answer is yes. It will seem as though the child no longer wants or needs a hug (because they don't ask), and maybe inside they no longer think they want a hug, or know they need a hug. Or if they do know, they push down the longing and try to ignore it - because they know Mommy and Daddy won't give it. But it can’t stay buried forever. If a person doesn’t get love and affection at home, they'll go looking for it elsewhere, whether deliberately or subconsciously. Either way, they're going to end up getting hurt. So, I think it really is true: “Sometimes all a person needs is to be touched by another human being.” Do you have a friend or a family member, a child or a spouse, who you’ve been neglecting in the area of affection? Don’t be fooled by their tough outer veneer. We all need a hug once in a while!
(c) 2006 - Bekah Ferguson Permissions: By all means, you are welcome to reproduce and distribute my articles in excerpts or complete format as long as you don't change any of the wording. If you do reproduce any part of my articles, please include the following information: by Bekah Ferguson, Ontario, Canada. www.bekahferguson.com Licensed under Creative Commons.
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