Hey Dad, Let's Talk 2| Photoshop Beauty and the Makeup Mask |
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If all it takes to have a healthy self-image is natural physical beauty, there would be no anorexic supermodels. Celebrities like Christina Aguilera and Carmen Electra needn't have had breast enlargement surgeries, actresses such as Brooke Shields and Uma Thurman wouldn't have had costly cellulite treatments, and famous moms like Dayna Devon and Patricia Heaton needn't have had tummy tucks. ... Now, I'll be the first to admit that if there were papparatziis following me everywhere I went, I'd probably be a lot more concerned about cellulite. Who wants to find an unflattering photo of themself on the front page of a tabloid under the heading, "Worst Celebrity Beach Bodies"? It's easy to see why those who can afford cellulite laser treatment have it done. And to be fair, Patricia Heaton had four ceasarean sections before opting for a tummy tuck . . . I've borne two children in a three-year time period and my second child was 10 lbs! He was also nine days overdue. So, we're talking a huge ponch here. He's a year old now and I still have a roll on my belly. A tummy tuck seems like such a quick fix, especially considering a post-partum tummy can't always be flattened by mere stomach crunches. And anyone who's had a ceasarean section knows that such scars can't be dieted away. But because surgery is both extreme and expensive (not to mention dangerous), most women have to resign themselves to living with the permanent "battle scars" of pregnancy, such a saggier breasts, looser tummies and stretch marks. Nevertheless, we still compare our post-partum figures to those of celebrity moms who have personal trainers, one-on-one dieting coaches and if all else fails, cash for surgery. We even compare our post-partum figures to women who have never been pregnant! Many of you, at one time or another, have surely come across photos of celebrites caught without makeup; it's always a shocking sight, right? We're now living in the age of Photoshop beauty and anything that falls below that standard of perfection is considered unattractive, plain and even ugly. Natural beauty is no longer enough! Even the most beautiful women (by society's standards) still have to be swathered in makeup and air-brushed before they can appear on the cover of a magazine. Remove a wrinkle here, dab out the character lines beneath the eyes there, fill out the chest and lips a bit here, and smooth out the hips ever-so-slighty there. The images we see plastered thoughout magazines, billboards on the highways, posters in the shopping malls, music videos, and TV commericials, are not real women; they're glorified caricatures. Even mannequins have disproportioned Barbie doll figures. And yet I'll admit that one look at a magazine cover can make me feel bad about myself for the rest of the day. Photoshop BeautyHere's what I want you to do the next time you catch yourself comparing your physique or even just your face with the photo of a model or celebrity:
At last, you are ready to compare yourself to a magazine photo! But there's one more important thing I must stress: My plus-size ladies, you can only compare your 8 x 10 to women in plus-size magazines; and older ladies must not compare their mugs to younger women. I am confident that if any of you actually go to this degree of trouble (and small fortune), you will be pleasantly surprised (if not shocked) to find that these paper beauties have nothing on you at all. And let us never forget that the rich and famous easily spend thousands of dollars a month on their high-maintanence beauty regimes. Below is a Before and After picture of myself. In the first photo, I am wearing no makeup and have not applied any concealer to the blemish on my cheek and chin. In the second photo, I am wearing heavy makeup (would've used fake lashes if I had some), a fancier shirt and jewelry; have had my complexion perfected in Photoshop; and the white of my teeth and eyes enhanced. The lines around my lips have also been removed. As much as I like the "After" photo, it's impossible for me to look like this in person.
The Makeup Mask Speaking of makeup, how many of you would rather die than be seen in public without makeup on? Remember how shocking it is to see a celebrity without makeup? Well, truth is, the same goes for us ordinary folk. Think of the women you know who always wear makeup. On the rare occasions when you've happened to see them without it, I'm sure you noticed how tired and plain (normal!) they looked without it. We're so used to their painted appearance that to see them any other way is unsettling. I used to be strongly reliant on makeup and during my mid-teen years, someone once asked my mother, "Why does your daughter wear her makeup like a sl*t?" See, I never went anywhere without makeup; I even wore waterproof mascara so it wouldn't (perish the thought) wash off when I swam at the beach. I honestly believed in my heart (albeit subconsciously) that if I were to go out in public without makeup on, I would be so plain I might as well be invisible. Not wearing makeup seemed the equivelant of wearing gray clothes. On that note, think of the women you know who rarely wear makeup. What is your impression on the occasions when they do wear makeup? Perhaps, "Wow, I can't believe how pretty she is"? Here's what I discovered in my late teens: One of my good friends only wore makeup once or twice a week. She looked great without makeup and she looked great with makeup. And though I was more accustomed to her unpainted face than to her made-up one, I didn't consider her plain-looking at all. She wasn't an exotic beauty by any means; just a regular young woman. But when she did occasionally wear makeup, I was impressed with how much of a doll she was. Nevertheless, it took a few years of reflecting on this before its significance clicked in my head. And when it did, I decided to stop wearing makeup every day. See, I realized that if I were to reserve heavy makeup for special occasions, dates with hubby, and perhaps just one unparticular day of the week, I wouldn't have to fear being seen without makeup in public anymore; people will be accustomed to what I really look like. There's this tendency to believe that women who look lovely without makeup are blessed enough to not need it. Yet putting aside the few rare exotic beauties we may happen to know, I've found that the real reason such women can "get away" with not wearing makeup is simply because we're used to their natural faces. Think of it this way: If it was normal for celebrities to perform and pose without layers of makeup, it would no longer be a shocking sight to see them without makeup. Tabloids would have to try and shock us with photos of celebs with makeup. So, here's a suggestion if you rely on heavy makeup and lose all confidence without it: Try cutting back gradually (rather than cold turkey) until you're down to perhaps some concealer (as needed) and a touch of lipstick or eyeliner. Reserve eye shadow, blush, mascara, lip liner, and the whole nine yards for special occasions. There's so much freedom in this practice! It's essentially a transfer of perspective: Instead of feeling plain without makeup, you'll feel "dolled up" with makeup. And it makes special events all the more exciting. I personally find this "less is more" mentality refreshing and I never want back the burden (i.e. bondage) of having to wear makeup every day to feel good about myself. Men don't have to wear a lick of makeup to look good - why should we?
By all means, use concealer on blemishes and zits, and do pluck stray hairs if they bother you; I'm not suggesting we grow out our unibrows here. But you know, our eyes are beautiful all on their own, they really are. Have you ever looked into a child's twinkling eyes and thought, if she would just add some eyeliner and shadow, she'd be so much prettier? That's a laughable thought. On the contrary, we're appalled when little girls wear makeup. Yet somehow we believe that our adult eyes aren't pretty enough on their own merit. Yes, we can enhance them with color and this can be charming (again, I like to wear makeup on special occasions and dates with hubby), but quite frankly, heavy makeup can be distracting in a negative way - especially if it gets smudged, cakey or clumpy. It never ceases to amaze and irritate me how in nearly every sitcom and movie, we see women going to sleep with full-blown makeup on and instead of waking up in the morning with clogged pores and racoon eyes, they slip out of the sheets with completely undisturbed makeup. Makeover shows run frequently on cable TV (Oprah, Tyra Banks, informercials) and you never see an unpainted woman smiling in her "before" picture. If you did, the "after" picture wouldn't be nearly as impressive. We find ourselves thinking, Oh, she looks so much better with makeup; less tired and more cheery. It's an illusion. Of course we all look better dressed-up than in sweats, but so what? Not every day is a gala ball. I'm also going to look a lot wanner in a dull corner of a room than I will standing out in the sunshine (or under a spotlight). All it takes to look "less tired and more cheery" is a smile genuine enough to light your eyes! Don't get me wrong though, I've been persecuted for not wearing makeup and coloring my hair, so I'm not making these comments lightly. Yes, you read that right: persecuted. But rather than crushing my self-image, this experience actually enforced my desire to be appreciated for myself alone, rather than some empty, superficial appearance. Here's what happened: When I was nineteen and first began experimenting with natural hair color and minimal-to-no makeup, I got a job as a receptionist at an elite hair salon. The job interview was arranged through "Job Connect," a job-finding program that subsidizes new employers for the first handful of weeks of employment (the orientation period). I believe the "mistake" I made was wearing makeup and jewelry on the day of my interview. I gave them the wrong impression, so-to-speak. ;) The first thing I noticed on the job was that the hairdressers (and owner) were upperclass individuals with sports cars, silky clothes, jelled and colored hair, and gold jewelry (the men too). Conversations revolved around one-night-stands, clubs, exotic vacations, and physical fitness. And from the very start, they spoke excitedly about the makeover they were going to give me; the new, stylish hair cut and highlights, how great it was going to look, etc. Imagine how appalled they must've been when I turned down these repeated offers. I did my job well, in this I am confident; I answered the phone, booked appointments, greeted clients, served tea and coffee, and did everything right. I dressed nicely in skirts, dress pants, heels, and light jewelry (you couln't criticize me for not dressing professionally), but I kept my natural hair color and didn't paint my face. Well, two weeks in, the owner's father, also a hairstylist, happened to stop by for a visit. Picture a man of sixty with a toned body, tight black shirt to show off his pecs, flat-front pants and a flashy belt, with perfectly coiffed salt and pepper hair. First thing he does when he meets me is give me the up and down look as though he were a camera lens, and verbally outlined what needed to be done with my hair (should I have been insulted?). I politely turned down the offer but was left feeling rather uneasy. A couple of days later, this same man returned and explained to me that my subsidy was about to run out and they unfortunately couldn't afford to keep me on as the receptionist. This was clearly a "kind" way of firing me without telling me the real reason, which was, "You don't wear enough makeup and you won't let us funk up your hair." (Remember, this was an elite salon. Haircuts alone were $50 a pop. Money was not an issue for them.) Two weeks later, they had a new receptionist: A tall skinny young woman with high-heeled calf boots, a miniskirt, skin-tight pink shirt, heavy makeup and . . . magenta hair. Magenta. Of course I understand that a hair salon receptionist is in many ways, an advertisement for the salon, and I just wasn't complying to that image. It wasn't that I was opposed to trendy hairdos, not at all; I just resented their desire to completely change my appearance. As far as I'm concerned, the vain and shallow social circles that reject women who don't wear heavy makeup and flashy clothes, are not the sort of people I wish to impress. That being said, there was a time when I was totally enslaved to hair dye, cuts and styles, and I've written about it in the following article. :) NEXT ARTICLE:
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(c) 2008 Bekah Ferguson Permissions: By all means, you are welcome to reproduce and distribute my articles in excerpts or complete format as long as you don't change any of the wording. If you do reproduce any part of my articles, please include the following information: by Bekah Ferguson, Ontario, Canada. www.bekahferguson.com Licensed under Creative Commons.
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Readers have left 2 comments.  1. Rebecca, you're a great woman tooChristy Burotn, Unregistered Wow, Rebecca, I love this website, it's really really great. Good job. Interesting and helpful articles, kept me reading for HOURS. Love ya Christy  Posted 2008-08-29 14:36:32 2. UntitledRenee, Unregistered Bekah, A wonderful article that speaks to women everywhere. Very raw, honest, and inspiring. You are a gifted and compassionate writer. Posted 2008-09-10 10:59:55 |
First, purchase an expensive, fashionable outfit that matches your specific body and color type. Secondly, go to a hair salon and have your hair cut, colored and styled. Thirdly, visit a beauty spa for exfoliating treatment of your pores, and then a laser hair treatment center to have your eyebrows shaped and any random facial hairs zapped away. Fourthly, purchase a push-up bra, or slip some gel pads into your bra to increase bust size. Fifthly, visit a beauty salon and have your makeup applied professionally, everything from concealer, foundation, powder, bronzer, blush, eye liner, eye shadow, mascara, eyebrow liner, lip liner and lipstick, and definitely fake eyelashes. Lastly, go to a photography studio and have a full body or facial shot taken and printed on an 8 x 10. Be sure to have several different poses taken so that the photographer can select the most flattering one of the lot. And make sure he/she enhances your eye color and also air-brushes away all blemishes, zits, wrinkles, age spots, and character lines. 
I've learned to look my bare face in the eye without cringing, and you can too.