SELF-ACCEPTANCE

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

I want you to try an experiment. For the next day or two, write down in a journal every negative thought that comes to mind. Every, "I'm fat," "I'm plain and ugly," "I'm a loser," "I'm not sexy," "I'm unlovable," "I'm stupid," "I'm a failure," "I'll never amount to anything," etc. At the end of the day, read these thoughts out loud, one by one. Then, think of someone you love dearly, such as a child, a spouse, a grandparent or a friend, and imagine yourself saying these same things to your loved one. How does such a scenario make you feel? I'm guessing the very thought of it abhors you.The truth is, we carefully avoid making such negative, harsh comments to our loved ones. Why? Because we deeply value and care for them, love, respect, and honor them. We try our best to avoid hurting them and when we do hurt them, we are quick to apologize and seek their forgiveness.

It is time to start loving and respecting ourselves in the same way we love and respect others. The Apostle Paul explained in Ephesians 5:28-29, that in order for husbands to properly love their wives, they must "love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church." Therefore, if a man does not love and care for his own self, he does not love himself - and thus, can not love and care for his wife either.

Learning to love and accept yourself will not only improve your self-worth, it will enhance your ability to sincerely love others. It's tough, if not impossible, to love others unconditionally when we despise and criticize our own selves for every flaw, mistake or failure. We need to love and accept ourselves, warts and all. And then we'll be able to love our neighbor, too.

Consider this as well: the overweight mother who continually grumbles about being overweight, verbally berates her outward appearance and speaks often of her wish to be thin and attractive, will inadvertently send the message to her daughter or friend or sister that she too is unworthy and unattractive unless she is thin and pretty. This same example can be used with academic competence, career/financial success, talents/skills, and the like.

2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." The next time you find yourself negatively criticizing yourself, stop that line of thought in its tracks and state, "I give no consent to such thoughts!" Force yourself to think of something else instead. This will take practice at first but in time, the negative thoughts will greatly decrease as you learn to treat yourself with respect and acceptance. Remember, whatever you feed, will grow. In the same way that you carefully avoid making such cruel comments to a loved one, you must never make such comments to yourself.

Failures, regrets and mistakes should be used as grounds for learning, not for condemnation. Rather than beating yourself up over something you regret, examine what happened, what led up to it, and what can be done differently in the future. Build yourself up with encouragement just like you would encourage a friend or a child during a time of difficulty.

"Self-acceptance comes from meeting life's challenges vigorously. Don't numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory." ~ J. Donald Walters

Next Page: "Self-Love"